It’s the instinct to sweep issues under the rug, to bite our tongues when we should speak up, or to simply walk away when tensions rise. While it might seem like a peaceful approach on the surface, the reality is far more complex and potentially damaging. Conflict avoidance often gets a bad rap, but the truth is, it’s a natural response. Most of us have, at some point, dodged a difficult conversation or tried to sweep disagreements under the rug, hoping they’d disappear. Let’s dig into what conflict avoidance really is, why we do it, and how it impacts our relationships and emotional well-being.

Understanding Pathological Conflict Avoidance

So, your answer probably depends on the conflict-management https://ecosoberhouse.com/ style of the family you grew up in. If the members of your family were loud fighters, you may now naturally tend toward aggressive. So, now, you may be more comfortable avoiding conflict whenever possible. Building assertiveness can help you express your needs without feeling overwhelmed.

Why it’s not helpful

So, every successful conflict resolution starts with some inner work. The avoiding conflict way you handle conflict is very much determined by your upbringing. You might be a fighter, an avoidant, or someone who switches based on the perceived power the other person holds. Julia Dencker is a multi-passionate entrepreneur and expert in inner peace and peaceful leadership. In counseling, I’ve worked with clients who felt compelled to be “peacemakers” in their families, often suppressing their own needs to avoid rocking the boat. As adults, they may struggle to advocate for themselves, fearing that standing up could lead to rejection or conflict.

• Teams may suffer from a lack of diverse perspectives and innovative ideas when members are too afraid to challenge the status quo or voice dissenting opinions.
• Conflict avoidance often involves suppressing one’s true feelings and failing to have one’s needs met.
• The advantages of avoiding style are most common when the other person in the conflict understands and acknowledges that the style is being used.
• Establishing firm and overtly clear boundaries before an incident occurs may help a person gauge whether a partner is able to be respectful.
• We have all faced individuals who dig their heels in and won’t budge.

Resolve issues in real-time

• Avoiding conflicts, or let’s say, avoiding confrontation, may seem like a path to harmony.
• To hear some tell it, we are experiencing an epidemic of conflict avoidance, finding new ways to walk away from conflict rather than engaging in interpersonal conflict resolution.
• By exploring the roots of your avoidance, you can better understand why you feel this way and begin to approach conflict with compassion toward yourself.
• Avoiding can be wise when someone seems volatile or when we don’t expect to deal with them again.

Resentment and frustration build under the surface, and the relationship starts to feel strained. Maybe your stomach churns, your chest tightens, or your mind races when something needs to be said, and it feels too risky to say. If Sam disrespects Ron’s boundaries intentionally, Ron may need to reflect on Sam’s ability to be respectful and considerate Substance abuse in the relationship.

tips for how to develop conflict management skills

People approach conflict differently, depending on their innate tendencies, their life experiences, and the demands of the moment. Negotiation and conflict-management research reveals how our differing conflict-management styles mesh with best practices in conflict resolution. We learn our conflict style from what we see and experience in our childhood homes.